Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Sorry

When I was younger, saying "I"m sorry" meant just a couple of simple things: that you didn't mean to do it, and that you'll never do it again. You accidentally kicked another kid's sand castle or forgot to return your seatmate's crayon, but after a talk (with mom or teacher present) and these two little words will be enough to stop the tears and make the booboos go away.

Now that I'm older, I realize that merely saying these words are not often enough. How easy is it to pay lip service. We throw these words thoughtlessly, without much regard that some people do take them seriously.

We say sorry even though we meant to hurt them. We say sorry again and again, knowing we’ll hurt them repeatedly, but confident in the fact that they’ll forgive us in the end. We use “sorry” as some sort of a Band Aid to our wrongdoings: stops the bleeding and covers up the wound, but never quite healing it or removing the scar.

I myself don’t get how just saying sorry makes everything okay again. I guess I’m not one of those forgive and forget types. Which is mighty hypocritical because I’ve done a whole lot of worse things than the person next to me, and how I’ve often resorted to saying sorry to make things right. Sorry, I got knocked up too soon. Sorry, I dated your ex. Sorry, I flaked on our dinner date. Sorry, I failed my monthly scorecard yet again.

We hold on to the anger, all the bitter memories for so long just waiting for these two words to come. Is it worth the wait just to hear these words from that person who screwed us over?