I found some old blogs circa 2007-08. I don't remember if I published them in my previous Multiply or FB sites. But one stood out because I laughed when I read it. More than two years later and I still got the same sentiments. Haha.
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May 7, 2008, Wednesday, 8:06 AM
It’s hard and it sucks: choosing between doing the right thing and doing what you want. Isn’t it frustrating that more often than not, the right thing is the hardest thing to do, and what we want is usually illicit, forbidden or just plain stupid and wrong.
When faced with a confused and distraught friend facing such a dilemma, I try to refrain from giving a concrete advice or a definite answer. I would let her rant, rave and wear herself out talking and crying. Then I would tell her, follow your instincts. I know, I know, it’s cliché and a play-safe answer and probably not what she wants to hear, but really, it is the only way.
When we are mere spectators and are not involved in the crisis, it’s easy to fall into the trap of seeing things in black and white. But come on, if we’re the ones in that person’s shoes, when emotions come to play, we can’t think logically. Things aren’t as simple as right versus wrong. Everything’s gray… or red, or pink or whatever, depending on the mood. I mean if things were that simple, then I don’t think that person would’ve come to me for advice.
What makes it harder is when people like friends and family, who are understandably just concerned about us, are pushing us to do the right thing. We clash when we insist on following our desire, running the risk of looking like fools, of getting hurt, and crawling back to them and enduring their I-told-you-so’s.
But as I’ve said, my sole advice is to follow your guts. Take their well-meaning words with a grain of salt, but do what your heart’s telling you. OK, that sounded straight out of a Hallmark card, but hey, it’s true. If you end of falling smack in your face, well at least no one can accuse you of being someone else’s sissy puppet. You won’t have to live asking yourself, what if, wondering what might have been if you followed your own.
I believe in learning from your own mistakes; pain is an effective teacher. Don’t we always remember the mistakes that hurt the most and the lessons that came from them? Isn’t it that when we were kids, our parents would tell us, don’t run, you might fall and hurt yourself, and we won’t listen? Then we go home with red scrapes across our knees, bawling because it hurts like hell, and you can bet we won’t be running around for a while.
Don’t be scared of looking stupid; people all make stupid mistakes everyday. It’s not really the error you commit, but how you turn them to your advantage. It’s like stumbling in front of a huge crowd, and instead of crying right in the middle, you stand up, brush of the dirt and flip the goddamn hair. Taray lang, dabaz? Everybody falls at some point in their lives, but not everyone gets up with such remarkable grace and chutzpah.
Now this doesn’t mean you turn into an impulsive ass. If it’s worth it, then hell yeah, fight for it. Otherwise, know when and how to let go. Remember it’s your life, and it’s gonna be you, not your best friend or your sister or any snotty self-righteous bitch, who’s going to sit in front of your grandchildren telling them how grandmama had the balls to go for what she really wants.
As my favorite quote from Kiko Miranda goes, “Make mistakes, make many mistakes…. but never make the same mistake twice.”
I'm talking in circles. Somebody give me the next shot.
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