Memorial Stones

Okay, so I used my charms and little bit of manipulation (plus 16 years worth of bestfriendship) but when I invited my high school best friend Chrys to service today, I used my upcoming birthday as leverage. "Early birthday gift mo na sakin to." How could she refuse, hehe?

She made it just in time for the Word and the preaching. I praise God for his timely message today. We were both blessed by Pastor Jon's sermon. One of the first things Chrys told me after the service was, "Uy naka-relate ako dun ha." 

Our series break tonight was, of course, related to New Year. 'Tis that time of the year when most people are consumed with New Year's resolutions, senti-mode about the what-happened's and what-if's of the outgoing year, and -depending on one's current situation - either optimistic or pessimistic about the coming year.

In Joshua chapter 4, the twelve Israelites led by Joshua miraculously passed the Jordan river when God dried it up, and commanded for them to take 12 stones from the bottom of the river as a memorial of this favor from Him. It was a physical testament that would show other people of what God had done, and what else He is capable of doing. I urge you to read the whole chapter. :)

Look back and look forward. We have to be good at both. I look back at 2012 and is just blown away by the many blessings and miracles God has given me. One of them was happening right at that moment - me sitting with my "evil twin" at church (that's what we called each other back in HS because we were the magkakuntsaba in all sorts of misbehavior). I keep saying over and over throughout this year, if a year ago someone had told me I'd be where I am right now in my life, I would've laughed my head off. But here I am, walking with God and getting favors after favors from Him. It's no accident I'm here. 

God never makes any mistakes; instead he used (and still uses) my mistakes to shape me into the strong, faithful person He designed me to be. Just like the stones God asked the Israelites to pick up from the bottom of the Jordan river, our past victories and even our previous sins should serve as reminders, souvenirs of how God has bestowed those blessings to us, and how he used our struggles to show us His mercy and power to pull us through. We cannot have these "stones" without His help. And without these stones, sometimes it's easy to forget God. Empowered with this knowledge and faith in His infinite grace, we can have the confidence to look forward, to claim that our future is secured if we have Christ Jesus in us.

I know sometimes, we're guilty of being doubtful or fearful. Keri pa ba ni God ibigay ulit yung pinagpe-pray ko, e na-bless na nya ko dati? Baka marindi na si God sa petitions ko. Baka magsawa na Siya? Wow, I sure am glad my God is not like that. As mentioned before, we should be good at both. If we only  look back, then we may get stuck in the past, basking only in previous glory, and afraid to step forward. On the other hand, if we set our eyes only in the future, we might become too expectant, feel entitled and lose our gratitude for God. Look back AND look forward. 

In John 3:16, we look back on what God has already done - "For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son" and look forward to His promise to us - "that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life."

What are the stones in your life you have picked up this year? How can you use it to look back at God's past faithfulness in your life, and get you ready for the future?

Lost Keys SOS

A little after lunch, I took my daughter, Ging to Robinson's for some last-minute shopping. We parked in the basement, all the while talking about where and when to meet up after, and me issuing last minute reminders about pickpockets and stuff. We parted near the escalators - Ging heading up to the department store and me to the supermarket.

I finished my shopping quickly and went out the mall to browse the nearby tiangges. I reached into my bag for my sunglasses when I suddenly realized... Where are my motorbike keys?! A few minutes of frantic search into my handbag, pockets, shopping bags and wallet turned up no key. 

Uh-oh.

I had this same scenario a couple of months back. I was going home from work, and when I reached the bike rack where I had mine chained, I found out I lost my keys. I had to call my brother-in-law so he can tow me using their scooter. Very McGyverish pa nga since he didn't have any rope to pull me so he tied two hoodies together and use them to pull me home. I called Mang Ador, a locksmith who used to live beside us, to dismantle my ubox lock and duplicate the key from there. My spare was also lost a long time ago. Ever the procrastinator, I put off getting the key duplicated and forgot all about it.

Until today.

Hay naku, sabaw talaga! I retraced all my steps back to the shops I visited, went back to the parking lot and circled my bike twice, thrice, but still no keys. Mang Ador wasn't answering my call so I went to pick him up from his shop. I was in panicking na, pretty sure I locked it inside the compartment, but still fearing if I did drop it somewhere, then someone might have picked it up and is already driving off  to some chop shop in my beloved apple-green bike. 

On the way back to Rob, after grilling me if I had looked for the key everywhere, he relayed:

Mang Ador: "Meron din akong kostomer dati, taga-Pepsi naman, nawala din susi ng motor. E di pinuntahan ko at pinipick ko na yung lock. Maya-maya, napatingin ako sa baba. ayun, nasa damuhan yung susi. E di imbes na singilin ko sya ng 300 pagpapagawa at 150 sa duplicate, ayun nakatipid pa siya. Niloko ko na lang kung magkano ibabayad nya sakin pag nakita ko susi, sabi niya kahit magkano!"

We both laughed and I assured him this time, I'm pretty sure I locked my keys in the ubox. When we got back to the mall, he promptly got down to business picking my bike's lock. After ten minutes (and several people looking at us suspiciously, perhaps thinking we were stealing the bike), he lifted my bike's seat to reveal the inside of the ubox: NO KEYS.

Dejected at the thought of shelling out another 500 bucks for his services (like I did the last time), I went back inside to try to ask around if somebody happened to find my keys. Mang Ador did the same and the first guard he approached produced the key. It turned out I had dropped it in the parking lot and I NEVER THOUGHT TO ASK THE PARKING LOT GUARDS FIRST. Brilliant, Jaz, genius work indeed. 

So there I was, frantic and sweaty because I assumed the worst right away, I even dragged a locksmith from his afternoon siesta to a crowded mall. I thank God we found it, but I did want to sink on the floor right then and there as the guards and Mang Ador looked at me while all I could do was say sorry and thank them with a sheepish smile. Hay naku ulit! Sabaw talaga!

This is a perfect instance for me, of the answer being right in front of me, but I missed it because I immediately went into panic-mode. Oftentimes, the simplest solutions work best and can save me further aggravation - and cost! 

Moral of the story: When in doubt, always ask first and never assume right away.

Hey wait, that lesson sounds familiar... but that's another story nyaha. :)

SMP? Not!

I came across this post while looking for an article about parenting (naks, but true!). It resonated with me because a lot of the author's points hit right at home, especially about the daddy and beauty issues, and the one on guarding one's heart. This also got me thinking about a friend who just broke up with her long-time boyfriend, and another close friend who is fed up with dating and looking for men.

I think it was a post somewhere in Twitter, but the gist was, if you don't love yourself while still single, being in a relationship or marriage isn't going to change that. Truedat! Being single is the best time to see and love ourselves as God does.

It's an article titled, "For the Gals: 8 Principles for Dating". I was blessed by this article and hope you will be, too, whether you're single, attached or swearing off dating for now - or forever. :)

I am indeed loved by God, am beautiful because of this, so much favored by Him that His Son died for my sins, will wait patiently upon His will and will not put anything nor anyone above Him.

Don't be disheartened. Hindi totoong malamig ang Pasko mo!

Revisiting the Room

I know I've come across this article, "The Room" a few years ago when it was forwarded to me in my email. Back then, I thought it was just a pretty nice post, then promptly forgot all about it. 

My office monita gifted me with a book, "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" by Joshua Harris. I first read his second book, "Boy Meets Girl" and found it amazingly insightful and though-provoking. I liked the frank manner he approached even sensitive topics like love and sexuality, and his refreshing honesty in sharing his own experiences and the Word of God. 

I hadn't really made the connection until yesterday, when, half-way through the book, I saw the same article and realized it was authored by the same writer. I vaguely remembered having read it a long time ago. But now -whether it was because I'm now a Christian, or I can relate to what he was relaying in his dream - every word, every point in it, pricked me like a needle. Yeah, Lord, I guess I needed that. 

So I'm re-blogging it here. Hope it doesn't just touch you in a aww-that's-nice kinda way, but makes you really ponder about where Jesus is in your life right now. 

* * *

The Room by Joshua Harris

In that place between wakefulness and dreams, I found myself in the room. There were no distinguishing features save for the one wall covered with small index-card files. They were like the ones in libraries that list titles by author or subject in alphabetical order. But these files, which stretched from floor to ceiling and seemingly endlessly in either direction, had very different headings. As I drew near the wall of files, the first to catch my attention was one that read "Girls I Have Liked." I opened it and began flipping through the cards. I quickly shut it, shocked to realize that I recognized the names written on each one.

And then without being told, I knew exactly where I was. This lifeless room with its small files was a crude catalog system for my life. Here were written the actions of my every moment, big and small, in a detail my memory couldn't match.

A sense of wonder and curiosity, coupled with horror, stirred within me as I began randomly opening files and exploring their content. Some brought joy and sweet memories; others a sense of shame and regret so intense that I would look over my shoulder to see if anyone was watching. A file named "Friends" was next to one marked "Friends I Have Betrayed."

The titles ranged from the mundane to the outright weird. "Books I Have Read," "Lies I Have Told," "Comfort I Have Given," "Jokes I Have Laughed At." Some were almost hilarious in their exactness: "Things I've Yelled at My Brothers." Others I couldn't laugh at: "Things I Have Done in My Anger," "Things I Have Muttered Under My Breath at My Parents." I never ceased to be surprised by the contents. Often there were many more cards than I expected. Sometimes fewer than I hoped.

I was overwhelmed by the sheer volume of the life I had lived. Could it be possible that I had the time in my 20 years to write each of these thousands or even millions of cards? But each card confirmed this truth. Each was written in my own handwriting. Each signed with my signature.

When I pulled out the file marked "Songs I Have Listened To," I realized the files grew to contain their contents. The cards were packed tightly, and yet after two or three yards, I hadn't found the end of the file. I shut it, shamed, not so much by the quality of music, but more by the vast amount of time I knew that file represented.

When I came to a file marked "Lustful Thoughts," I felt a chill run through my body. I pulled the file out only an inch, not willing to test its size, and drew out a card. I shuddered at its detailed content. I felt sick to think that such a moment had been recorded.

An almost animal rage broke on me. One thought dominated my mind: "No one must ever see these cards! No one must ever see this room! I have to destroy them!" In an insane frenzy I yanked the file out. Its size didn't matter now. I had to empty it and burn the cards. But as I took it at one end and began pounding it on the floor, I could not dislodge a single card. I became desperate and pulled out a card, only to find it as strong as steel when I tried to tear it

Defeated and utterly helpless, I returned the file to its slot. Leaning my forehead against the wall, I let out a long, self-pitying sigh. And then I saw it. The title bore "People I Have Shared the Gospel With." The handle was brighter than those around it, newer, almost unused. I pulled on its handle and a small box not more than three inches long fell into my hands. I could count the cards it contained on one hand.

And then the tears came. I began to weep. Sobs so deep that they hurt started in my stomach and shook through me. I fell on my knees and cried. I cried out of shame, from the overwhelming shame of it all. The rows of file shelves swirled in my tear-filled eyes. No one must ever, ever know of this room. I must lock it up and hide the key.

But then as I pushed away the tears, I saw Him. No, please not Him. Not here. Oh, anyone but Jesus.

I watched helplessly as He began to open the files and read the cards. I couldn't bear to watch His response. And in the moments I could bring myself to look at His face, I saw a sorrow deeper than my own. He seemed to intuitively go to the worst boxes. Why did He have to read every one?

Finally He turned and looked at me from across the room. He looked at me with pity in His eyes. But this was a pity that didn't anger me. I dropped my head, covered my face with my hands and began to cry again. He walked over and put His arm around me. He could have said so many things. But He didn't say a word. He just cried with me.

Then He got up and walked back to the wall of files. Starting at one end of the room, He took out a file and, one by one, began to sign His name over mine on each card.

"No!" I shouted rushing to Him. All I could find to say was "No, no," as I pulled the card from Him. His name shouldn't be on these cards. But there it was, written in red so rich, so dark, so alive. The name of Jesus covered mine. It was written with His blood.

He gently took the card back. He smiled a sad smile and began to sign the cards. I don't think I'll ever understand how He did it so quickly, but the next instant it seemed I heard Him close the last file and walk back to my side. He placed His hand on my shoulder and said, "It is finished."

I stood up, and He led me out of the room. There was no lock on its door. There were still cards to be written.

* * *

By Joshua Harris. Orginally published in New Attitude Magazine. Copyright New Attitude, 1995. You have permission to reprint this in any form. We only ask that you include the appropriate copyright byline and do not alter the content.

If you wish to read more, visit his site http://www.joshharris.com/

One P-day

  

Started my day devo-ing on this Word. The guide's author, Charles Stanley, observes our common preoccupation of trying and trying - through our own accord and strength - if things don't go as planned. He says, "When you become a Christian, you naturally tend to integrate this attitude into your walk with Christ. If you fail to conquer certain habits, you keep trying. If you fall short in obeying key Scripture verses, you buckle down and try again... Failure can be the catalyst that leads you from mere understanding  to trusting... acknowledging that you can do nothing apart from Christ."

Again, I marvel at his perfectly-timed chastise. Too often I want to do something because I have to obey, but I realized before my actions can manifest genuine obedience, He must first change my heart. If at first we don't succeed, try again - this time, with God.


Pay.

Went to the bank, paid bills and watched the dwindling 13th month pay go to those pesky adult concerns called responsibilities. Yewww. 


Pamper.

At least, I managed to get a mani-pedi right at the comforts of my own house. Mama discovered our next-door neighbor's katiwala is a skilled manicurista, and can take out even the most stubborn ingrown in less than half an hour. Yey! All for forty (cleaning only) to fifty bucks (with polish).


Papa.

As I posted in my FB  status,I've been kinda making karir this little Jeremy Renner crush, nyaha! In the last couple weeks, I rented "Mission Impossible 4: Ghost Protocol" and watched it for the third time and not because I like Tom Cruise, excuse me. I made do with a low-quality bootleg DVD of "Bourne Legacy" just because I wasn't able to catch it in a movie theater and I wanted to see the jeepneys do drifting in the finale car/motorbike/jeepney chase. Today I rented "The Hurt Locker," the critically-acclaimed film Renner starred in before he became more prominent as that bow-and-arrow Marvel hero. Bonus, I didn't know Anthony Mackie was in the film too. I liked him in "The Adjustment Bureau," which starred Matt Damon and Emily Blunt, another fast-paced, action thriller with a clever twist.


Pastor Jon.

Started reading and following our senior pastor's blog (I'm from Victory Los Banos). Great read. And he also offers links to other useful posts too. Pastor Adrian is another good writer and preacher I started following few weeks back. His blog's here. Check out Pastor Jon's blog. One of my fave posts is "Wrong Theologies." Read it here here.


Pig-out.

Well, I wouldn't exactly call it pigging out, because although I ate a lot today, most were also healthy stuff: chestnuts, kiwi and mangosteen that I found at Divi yesterday; grapes from the vegetable bin; cassava cake, tikoy and espasol from our Mauban, Quezon getaway last weekend. Also had the usual junk food: pancit canton for lunch, Tortillos and Tostillas, a strawberry-banana blizzard; a piece of pancake Ate Jean brought home from work; merlion-shaped macadamia chocolates from a coworker. For meals I had pork hamonado, daing na bangus and Maggi noodles I dressed up with scrambled eggs and pechay Baguio. I capped off the day with a tall glass of Megamass. I. Need. To. Get. FAT. Asap.


Pangarap Lang Kita, and others.

LSS-ing on Parokya Ni Edgar's "Pangarap Lang Kita," Goyte's "Somebody That I Used To Know," Hillsong's "The Difference" and Gary V's "Take Me Out Of The Dark." The first two I heard on a Divi-bound FX yesterday, and they stuck. Nice lyrics. As a result, bought another pair of earphones just so I can do my sound-trips better. I couldn't wait nay longer the office kris kringle to find out if one of my "babies" got me earphones, which I put in my wish list. In keeping up with the P-theme, I bought Philipps. My old one (which I got on sale for PHP 495, orig price was PHP 2800) was Pioneer and it broke in less than three months. Boo. Watch the video here.


Print.

Helped Ging with her assignments, printed out numerous reports and visual aids (the Philippine Senate seal, among others). Also scanned a pic for a friend with her B and uploaded it to FB. 


Puyat.

I was on vacay for two days, but I still wasn't able to catch up on sleep. DVD marathons and constantly being online do nothing for my beauty sleep plans. Plus, I had to wake up early to help Ging prep for school in the morning.

Speaking of puyat, gotta go to sleep now. Tomorrow, back to regular programming. Bleah. But hope everyone had a great midweek! 

Ten Thank You's

Since it's my tenth month and as you know, I just looove making lists, here are ten things I'm grateful for today (although, Lord, I know you have given me so much more, even the smallest stuff I didn't notice or took for granted).

1. I woke up. Thank You for another day.

2. I woke up on time even if my normally trusty alarm did not go off. Thank you for whoever liked one of my posts because the Facebook notification triggered my Blackberry to vibrate and jolted me out of dreamland.

3. My stats are continually improving! The Lord doesn't do anything half-way. Talagang from the bottom... up! Thank you for Your grace!

4. My Kept Pool team improved by 0.79%. Good job ladies, let's beat Team Myk, er I mean, the site average, hehe! Thank you Mitch, Mommy Jo and Sam.

5. Someone remembered to greet me on my "birthday." Thank you for stepping up this time. 

6. I didn't feel any resentment, bad vibes or the need for sarcasm today. Woo-hoo! Thank You for guarding my heart and tongue. 

7. I  bought a new BB stick. Yihee! Thank You for the provision, even for my cheap kikay thrills. 

8. Was roaming the mall alone and unexpectedly bumped into Honey, Hernie, Leni and Cy at North Park and had impromptu dinner and catch up chikahan. Thank You for blessing us with good food, laughter and getting us all home safely.

9. Got home a bit later than usual and found my sister Jean already washed all the dishes (my nightly assignment) and even left me chicken pochero for dinner. Thank you to my uber-helpful family. 

10. Found Ging already done studying for her exams and sound asleep but woke up just enough to kiss me goodnight. Thank God for a smart and independent daughter.

"Be cheerful no matter what; pray all the time; thank God no matter what happens. This is the way God wants you who belong to Christ Jesus to live." ~ 1Thessalonians 5:16-18 MSG

Sweet Somethings

I'm not really into sweets; I don't have that proverbial sweet tooth. Oftentimes, when eating something sweet, I have to have something salty to eat simultaneously: V-Cut with Flat Tops, pancit canton with monggo hopia, spaghetti with Mer-Nel's choco cake.

But I'm surrounded by really sweet people at work (yihee!) who crave their sugar rush. In the last week or so, I tried two new desserts.

Two Fridays ago, after a dinner at Almon Marina and the Hungarian sausage left a searing spice on my tongue, my colleagues and I walked around Alabang Town Center's new wing. I personally would've settled for a McDo cone. The line for J.Co doughnuts was OA - is this the new It-Doughnut, like Gonuts and Krispy Kreme were? 

We found ourselves in Mochiko at the far end. One wall was almost completely covered by dozens of pink, waving cat figurines, kinda like the gold, waving cats Divisoria entrepreneurs have in their shops for good luck. Then there were two framed drawings of a little girl with an eerie expression. Dman theorized she was named Mochiko and she invented the balled desserts we were about to eat. The interior was mostly pink, which made Dman and Mark feel unexpectedly masculine.

Mochi balls are ice cream wrapped in rolled-flat sticky rice dough. I got black sesame, which tasted quite exotic. Mark ordered red bean, which is like cold hopia; Dman had Oreo, which actually had one cookie inside. I forgot what Jown had. They cost 70 PHP a piece and although I enjoyed it, it's not something I would buy often if I wanted something sweet and filling.

And here we were, monopolizing the plush pink couches and getting cross-eyed admiring the cats. Photo courtesy of Jown.

A week later, in need of new scenery, a chance to catch up and compare emo-notes and just craving for something sweet and comforting, Dman, Jown and I braved the Thursday rush-hour traffic in Makati. We went to Greenbelt, ate at Yoshinawa (where waiters should undergo Basic Good Service 101) then headed off to Gelatissimo for some Italian ice cream. It was actually my first time to eat gelato (Eww, I know haha!) and of course first time to visit the cozy place.

Customers can actually get a small teaspoonful to taste each flavor they want before deciding what to buy (yay for free taste!). One scoop is about 100 PHP, two for 130 PHP, three for 190 PHP. I forgot they have another for 230 PHP. I think the price varies if you choose paper cup or have it on a sugar cone.  We opted for cups. We got pistachio (my absolute fave), Ferrero Rocher, lemon cheesecake, forest berries (kinda sour but still yummy), white chocolate, chili chocolate (surprise anghang after the chocolatey taste melts) and chocolate chip. The ice cream were thick and flavorful and not so sweet na we got umay, although we needed water halfway through. 

We sat in the corner booth near the restroom, which is also a great place to bring a date or just sit alone and go all senti watching the lights and people outside. I did wish I had something salty at that time, though, even a pack of Boy Bawang or Zeb Zeb would do. Next time! 

All I can say is, you get three UPians together and the hot, juicy conversation just flowed! Thanks, guys, we all needed that. ;)

Oh, and the cashier gave me a loyalty card, so after my 7th visit, I can get one scoop free. :)

Our delectable comfort food (I got the one with pink, forest berries), photo op in the throne-like, comfy seat, and the "cast of characters" in our crazy yet super informative pinings about life, love and the best place to work.

Men, Take Note: Common Women's Crazies

Recently, a girlfriend and I got to talking to a guy friend who was new at this getting-close-to-the-opposite-sex thing. He relayed some “confusing” antics he encountered with this girl, who he was in the process of getting to know in the hopes of finding out if she was the one he would date or court. My girlfriend and I found his – for lack of better term – naivete endearingly amusing. He complained, “Ang labo ninyong mga babae!” Call it PMS, hormones, hyperactive emotions or just simply being a girl, but something in our XX-chromosomes must surely be to blame for these hot-and-cold behavior.

I remembered watching a couple movies few weeks ago (“Act Like A Man,” “He’s Just Not That Into You”) which reveals the “secrets” of the typical man’s playbook when it comes to dating. Most are not surprising, given I learned them first-hand from the bad thugs and immature boys I’ve dated in the past. But it was kinda funny! So to return the favor – forgive me ladies – here are some of the common crazies we women have.

1. We expect you to read our minds. When we are warm and friendly to you all throughout, then suddenly turn quiet or eerily contemplative the next moment, trust me dude, YOU DID SOMETHING WRONG. Whether it’s a valid fault or imagined, in our eyes you did something bad. And we are not going to tell you what it is. We will let you stew in your juices, hoping you will figure out what it is that irked us off, and getting even more frustrated if you don’t. Consider this familiar scene:

Guy: You okay?

Girl: (gives you a dirty look) Yeah.

Guy: Did I do something wrong?

Girl: (through gritted teeth) Nooo.

Guy: (and few men would actually be this patient/persistent in asking a girl) Galit ka ba sakin?

Girl: HINDI!!! (then storms off angrily)

There are several reasons for this kind of crazy. First, we expect you to be like our girlfriends, able to know our thoughts and feelings with just an exchange of a single look. We want you to be sensitive enough to realize if you pissed us off. If you did something wrong and you’re not a complete jerk, you should know it. Second, it irritates us even more when we have to explain it you pa. If you have to ask, then you don’t need to know. Period. Third, blame those gushy, unrealistic rom-com movies out there. We want our men to be like John Lloyd Cruz or John Cusack. We want you to cry in the middle of the street on a rainy day, stricken by the very though that you have hurt us, and come running back to us, begging for forgiveness and plying us with truckloads of chocolate, flowers and fancy quotes worthy of posting and re-Tweeting. (But on a serious note, I think this also comes from a woman’s innate desire to be wooed. God designed women to be pursued. I’m not using this to justify our pa-pam-pam; I’m just saying).

So if that girl you’ve been texting with forever suddenly stops her steady stream of Where-na-you-Kumain-ka-na-Sleep-na-me-Goodnight! messages, don’t ever think she ran out of load, fell asleep or lost interest on you. Chances are, you did something (or on the extreme side, you did nothing at all) and her silence means she wants you to realize that, find out what it is, and do what you have to do. All I can say is…. happy crystal-balling guys!

2. Yes, we go to the wash room in hordes. Always. It’s because:

a. We want to borrow each other’s lipstick or hairbrush. And brutal honesty on the new set of bangs we cut ourselves.

b. We’re secretly afraid to walk past that table of another group of girls who will size up our outfits from head to toe.

c. We will talk about you guys.

d. We will talk about other guys besides you.

e. We will talk about other girls we passed by and sized up.

f. In the event we suddenly get our period or develop, er, stomach problems, we need someone sympathetic and discreet to go run out for a sanitary pad or a pack of wet wipes.

3. We like to talk about our problems – especially matters of the heart- to oblivion. And talk about it some more. A little bit more. Then rehash it several times. Then rehash it over and over again. This can take a toll even on the most patient friends, but especially for guys who are not wired to endure emotional gabfests. It’s not mostly because of self-centeredness or drama-queen tendencies (although these are also big factors), but because we feel talking about it numerous times will desensitize us about the whole thing. We are fond of subjecting our heartaches and other personal issues to countless tear-a-thons because frankly, we just want to wake up one day and suddenly find ourselves immune to Whatsisname’s charms. True story.

4. Related to #3, when we say, “We need to talk,” we don’t mean a five-minute chat where everything gets wrapped up nicely. When we want The Talk, five minutes ain’t even enough for our opening sentence. We ladies love to over-analyze every little thing. Even if you did manage to survive one of these hours-long talks and went home thinking, yey, that’s over and done with, we would still lie awake until the wee hours of the morning, agonizing over the hundred more things we “left unsaid.” So the next time your girl comes up to you and say the four dreaded words - and you are by no means ready to bare your feelings Oprah-style - run for the hills, my man! Save her the heartbreak, and save yourself from earning a place in her Most Insensitive Jerk list.

5. We don’t ask men questions because we don’t know the answer. We ask you questions we already know the answers to, because we want to hear you say we’re right. We want to be proven right. We need validation. We crave affirmation, especially from men we admire or like. Of course it’s extra ganda points for us, but it also shows us if we’re on the same page on a particular matter. (Like, do you think One Direction is better than Backstreet Boys? I would tread very carefully on this discussion my friend, especially if the girl asking this is a child of the 90’s.)

Now, in the same vein that not all men are inconsiderate jerks or players, I’m not saying all women are like those mentioned above ha, although I suspect even the most rah-rah-girl-power type felt these things at one point or another in their lives. I’m actually just poking fun on one extremely moody, emotional and crazy woman – me. 

*photo from Google 

Let's Nail This Paco Park Thingie

Sometime this year, I got it in my head that I want to go to Paco Park. Chalk it up to part curiosity, part-kilig by the JL-Bea scenes shot here in "Miss You Like Crazy," nyaha! Plus, I really want to do a lot of promdi-goes-to-the-city trips just for fun. So I put it in my little list (number 8!), and promised I'd get around to doing it. A friend and I passed by the park few months back on our way from church, but were too tired to visit that time, and then we never got around to going back.

Last week, since I had some errands in the city, I decided to go for it. I took half the day off from work, and from Alabang Petron station, took a Lawton bus; fare was for PHP 40. I whiled the time away laughing at Pinoy Henyo on the bus TV. Traffic was a little heavy once we passed Dela Rosa up until we took a left on Quirino Avenue. I got off at United Nations Ave and took a tryc for PHP 10. There's a queue near McDo UN. Actually, if you feel like walking, it's only about a block away, but I didn't know it was that near so I rode one. There' s also a pedicab that takes forever to fill up.

There's an entrance fee of PHP 5, and mood music was playing through a loud speaker placed near the entrance. I was a bit surprised because I was expecting it to be bigger (it looked like that in pictures and in the movies) but it was not that grand. I noticed though how clean and well-maintained the grounds were, and how quiet. There were only a handful of people: a few young couples in school uniforms (huli, nagde-deyt!), a gaggle of office girls noisily taking their pictures in front of the church, and a couple of guys with fancy DSLRs scoping and taking test shots of the area. I would later find out they were professional photographers waiting for their pre-nup shoot clients. The rest rooms were also surprisingly clean for a city public park.

I walked around looking at the old, mostly empty graves, covered in moss. Some looked refurbished, but nonetheless blended in the aged look of the whole place. There was a flock of pigeons flying around the area, and the occasional flapping sounds of their wings gave the lazy afternoon a more soothing feel. It was a cloudy afternoon, the ominous clouds boding a possible rain shower. I uttered a quick prayer for a downpour not to ruin my little field trip.

Paco Park used to be Manila's municipal cemetery for the aristocratic families during the Spanish colonial era, up until 1912, when interment ceased in the park. It was built in the 18th century in what was once the district of Dilao, now known as Paco. Jose Rizal was also buried here after being executed in Bagumbayan, until his remains were moved to Rizal Monument. There is also the shrine dedicated to the three Filipino priests, Gomburza.

The park is circular in shape, with a Roman Catholic chapel, St. Pancratius Church in the middle. There's an inner circle where the niches are, and a second outer layer was later built to accommodate more. It was fun to walk around the pathway built around the park, admiring the thick adobe walls and imagining all the history that took place within these walls. I'm not really a history buff, but I get a bit nostalgic when I'm in old places like these. 

Paco Park is open Mondays through Fridays except Wednesdays (good thing I went there n a Tuesday) 8-5 PM and celebrates its anniversary every February. I vaguely remember a musical show of sorts featuring the park, "Paco Park Presents" when I was a kid, though I never actually watched it. I looked it up and found out it was to foster strong cultural bonds between Filipinos and German artists. It's also a very popular venue for prenuptial photoshoots and garden weddings.

I sat there for about half an hour, before the two photographer guys sat beside me and chatted me up. They were waiting for their clients from Paranaque to arrive, and I was kinda sorry I had to go; I would've loved to watch an actual prenup shoot in a garden take place. I did manage to get their contact info, since they asked me why I was there alone and taking lots of pictures. At first I was wary, they might be some crooks or crazy guys who like to pick up crazy chicks in local parks, but their site looks legit. 

Future brides, you can check it out: http://www.studio1photography.org/#Home%20Page. They specialize in weddings debuts and other special occasions for more reasonable rates. (plug plug!)

After my errands, I walked back to UN, had a root beer float to go from Jollibee, and caught the LRT to Gil Puyat, where buses (Greenstar and BLTB) ply the Manila-Santa Cruz route.

Janno

Janno Farrales - former teammate, close friend, kabaklaan, one-time designer of my dress for my first HSBC holiday party, our taga-guest list in our only Cosmo bash in Embassy, dependable laitera-mate, fellow beach bum and party animal - passed away yesterday. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think he was only twenty-five. I felt bad I didn't get to visit him during the times he was in the hospital. I felt I let our busy lives get in the way of not seeing each other anymore after he resigned. We drifted apart, yes, but whenever I look at our old pictures during our many out-of-town trips, parties, hangouts and sleeping poses on the ops floor, they never fail to make me smile. 

I came across an old post I saved from my defunct Multiply blog. It was dated October 30, 2007, 12:50 AM, right after Maru took Janno, Hudson, me and some friends to La Union to surf for the first time. These are just some of the kooky moments I was able to capture in print and photos. I edited some of the parts out for, er, security purposes. I'm sure you'll understand, Janno. Walang labasan ng baho, right? 

*****

DEADLY LINES

I wish I took down notes of all the kaharutan that I, Janno, Dith, Maru, and Pags  uttered during those hours inside Celine (Dith's car) and hanging out on the shore with nothing but sand between our toes!

Contravida wannabees:

Janno: Nanding, pasabugin ang mga inutil na itoh! Chui, iligpit ang mga alipin!

(while holding a toy gun to Pags' temple) Kung hindi ka mapapasa akin, walang ibang makikinabang sayo!

(to Gab, Dolo's son, teary-eyed echoz) Anak, magpapakabait ka ha, susulat ka kay Mommy, magpapadala ako ng pera sayo....

Taray, san punta mo teh, Hongkong?

On marriage:

Pags: Ang pagaasawa hindi parang mainit na kanin na pwede iluwa basta-basta.
Janno: O bakit, pwede naman iluwa ang kanin diba?

Huh? Focus tayo teh.

On showing 'em who's the boss:

Pags: (hawak manibela at Ruth's cellphone, talking to Psycho Wife in a well-modulated voice): Sinabi ko naman sayo diba, ako ang magtetext sayo mamaya. Huwag kang magtext. Huwag kang tumawag. Mahirap ba intindihin yun? Kung hindi ka makaintindi, wag ka gumamit ng cellphone. (in a low whisper) Bigyan mo naman ako ng delikadesa, hindi ko cellphone to...


On loving someone who won't be able to provide you:

Maru: Sa bawat tibok ba ng puso ko, may lalabas bang bigas?

On commuting:

Jaz: Actually okay din magcommute, marami akong natututunan... independence, agility of mind and body, fostering camaraderie with my fellow passengers...

Classic teeny-bopper beak-up scene:

Dith's ex: I love you, pero I need time. I need space. Gusto ko ma-experience muna maging single...

Gusto mapag-isa? Go ka sa bartolina, boy.

On pick-up lines:

Janno to Luke (the gorrrgeous surf instructor): Can you teach me how to surf... your abs?

Good thing hindi nahampas ng surfboard sa fez.

Janno: (While surveying the abundance of hot bods on the beach) Naglipana ang hipon sa karagatan. Tanggalin mo lang ang ulo, ulam na.

While Mario was singing "How Do I Breathe" on the way home in Dith's car:

Maru: Parang amoy lumpia...
Janno: Ay sorry, umutot ako.
Maru: Ang timing.. How do I breathe nga!

On naming our own beach resort:

Maru: Ruth's Sanctuary... mala-spa ang dating, very chillax.
Jaz: JazGurl's Paradise... nagkalat ang gwapo't magaganda.
Janno: Janno's Isle of Pleasure... complete with themed rooms, like Jungle (as in jungle sa kalat, walang toilet maghuhukay ka), dominatrix with whip and leather, etc...
Pags: Aaahh... Pags' Place. Yun lang po tenks.

More to come from the archives of La Union.

******

Ang bababaw pero I was laughing and crying while reading these and remembering our moments, Janno. I pray you're doing the same up there. Hope you don't forget you promised to design my wedding gown. Email mo na lang ha, wag mo na deliver sakin ng personal.

 I'll miss you, Faggy. Hugs, Jaggy. :)

"Victory Loves Preparation."

I watched Jason Statham’s movie, The Mechanic last night. In it, he plays Arthur Bishop, a professional assassin known as the (tada!) Mechanic because he skillfully makes his hits appear like accidents, suicides or crimes of petty criminals. He does these through very thorough and careful preparation, spending much time researching about his targets, observing them, internalizing their quirks and routines and habits, so he can come up with the best “accidental” death to use.

In a well-played scam even he didn’t foresee right away, his employer had him kill his mentor, Harry McKenna, with the latter’s own gun, inscribed with a Latin quotation, “Amat victoria curam.” “Victory loves preparation.” Harry’s son, Steve, sought vengeance on his father’s killers, so Bishop took him under his wing to learn their trade. Later, Steve found out Bishop killed his father and plotted to kill him at a gas station, using his father’s pistol to fire at the truck while gas leaked under it. It exploded, apparently killing Bishop.

Steve goes back to the Bishop’s house, playing a record on the turntable Bishop forbade him to touch and taking out the car, a vintage Jaguar Bishop’s been restoring for two years, out for a ride. He notices a note on the passenger side that said: “Steve, if you’re reading this then you’re dead! Bishop,” Steve manages a laugh before both the house and car explodes as well. Next we see Bishop walking away from the gas station and getting on another truck.

I know it’s a violent movie with themes of vengeance and murder, but what stuck to me was how Bishop was always prepared. He was never caught off-guard. Even at the very end, he anticipated every possible outcome, mainly because he came to know Steve well, so in the end, he still got the upper hand.

I’m sure a lot of us can relate to this. How many exams, interviews or presentations have we failed because we lacked the necessary preparation? And how many have we aced because we took the time to study, rehearse and research prior to the events? Even if there are times we are not actually victorious or didn’t get the results we wanted in the first place, we were able to sail through it because we were confident. Because we got ready. Even relationships fail if one is not prepared to commit or stand up for the other person. Even in our calls, as collectors, we have a part of the call called “setting the stage” – preparing the customer emotionally and logically to answer our next questions so that they won’t get offended.

The quote just kinda popped in my head as we concluded a four-week series called The End at church tonight. Weeks 1 and 2 tackled how we anticipate and prepare for the second coming of Jesus. Week 3 talked about Hell. Unfortunately, I was on a trip last week and missed it (will get the pod cast soon!). Tonight’s topic was Heaven, and this got everyone excited. Who doesn’t want to go to Heaven, right?  Heaven has been depicted in many ways, usually a white paradise where angels play gold harps on fluffy white clouds, saints abound, and only "good and kind" people can go to.

Our pastor kept mentioning that conspiracy theorists and so-called prophecies said the end of the world is on December 21, 2012. As Christians, we know that when Jesus comes back, “He will come like a thief in the night.” Unannounced, subtle, without much fanfare. But more than His second coming, we should be concerned on what we are doing while waiting for our Lord’s return. In the same manner that we Filipinos turn our house upside down to clean it in anticipation of balikbayan guests, or how many hours we spend in front the mirror getting ready for a date with our crush, shouldn’t our preparation for our Lord and Savior’s coming back be our topmost priority in life?

To accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior is our only salvation, not by being good boys and girls, or praying to idols and saints or just simply believing that God exists. We don’t just obey God because we want to go to Heaven. We obey Him out of love, so we can look forward to Heaven as a reward.

In one of my favorite verses, Ephesians 2:8-9 says, “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast.”

This is something that I pray for each day. It’s easy to hold on to my relationship with God when I’m at church or at a VG meeting, or during the Encounter or when things are going well. It’s easy to praise Him when blessings are pouring in. But in times of pain and struggle, I pray constantly to continue to seek Him, even when I don’t always see or understand right away His plan or purpose. And I think this is one preparation Jesus is asking of us: that we put Him above everything else. Jesus is our victory, and we should very well be prepared.

10 Things I Hate About This Team

1. Sa sobrang haba ng mga idle time at no camp before, wala tuloy silang choice kung di magdaldalan, magchikahan, maghiritan, maglaitan, umisip ng iba't-ibang paraan para magising at pasayahin ang bawat isa. Resulta: baga-ingay. More resulta: seat transfer palayo sa opisina nina Bossings JM at CJ. More more resulta: MAS MASAYA.

2. Yung sobrang close ng bawat isa, kayang-kaya nila magpulaan, mag-apihin, manghimay, manghimasok, manumbat, magusisa, magbigay ng mga unsolicited advice sa isa't-isa tungkol sa buhay pag-ibig, problemang pamilya at pinansyal, mga alalahanin sa performance at trabaho, kahit ultimo suot na sapatos, amoy ng hininga or change ng hairstyle, kailangan may comment lagi. At mas madalas sa hindi, masasakit ang mga komentong ito. Truth hurts, ika nga. Walang sikretong hindi nabubunyag at naipagkakalat. Ang siste, we'd rather stab you in front than at the back. Kahit anong anghang ng mga palitan ng hirit, gano man ka-degrading ang mga name-calling at panunukso, ilang henerasyon man ng mga ninuno ang pagtawanan, laitin man ang edad, sekswalidad at pisikal na anyo, magkatampuhan man ng ilang saglit o oras, at the end of the day, pagtatawanan lang nila lahat. Walan pikon. Kung meron man, magaling makibagay.

3. Kahit may mga tinaguriang sexist, racist at "age-ist" sa team, pagdating sa isa't isa, pag inapi ka ng iba dahil kaw ay bakla, tomboy, payatot, mataba, thundercats, immature, antukin, single parent, kabit, manyak, babaero, gastadora, kuripot, pandak, pimpulin, ututin, matakaw, emotera, palengkera, war freak at iba pa, di pwede yun! Resbak agad. 

4. Kahit may mangilan-ngilan na nangingibabaw sa dorobohan, andun pa rin yung concern at tulungan sa stats ng isa't isa. Share-an pa rin ng best practices. Lakasan na lang ng loob ang labanan. Walang iwanan. Mabulastog man ng isa o dalawa ang EVPH at incentives, asahan ng iba, may papansit naman buong team by month-end.  

5. May pagka-bipolar trip mga tao:
Pag malungkot ka, papasayahin ka nila. Pag nakasimangot ka, papangitiin ka nila. Pag masyado kang perky, babad-trip-in ka nila.

Pag umiiyak ka, patatahanin ka nila. Pag ayaw mo maiyak, lalo ka nila paiiyakin, sisigaw pa ng, "Iiyak na yan! Iiyak na yan!"

Pag payat ka, bubusugin ka ng mga nakaw na Zebzeb at Pompoms, pandesal, turon at mga tirang baon. Pag mataba ka, lalaitin ka hanggang sa mapilitan ka magpapayat (except for one person, ngess huuuu?!?). 

Pag tahimik ka, dadaldalin ka. Pag maingay ka, bubulyawan kang manahimik dahil may mga reps na gusto matulog habang nagko-calls.

Pag kumakanta ka, nanakawin yung kanta mo. Pag hindi ka kumakanta, bibigyan ka ng kantang mae-LSS ka buong araw.

Pag single ka, ihahanap ka ng rampa, ibubugaw kang parang karne. Pag taken ka na... ihahanap ka pa rin ng rampa at ibubugaw pa rin na parang karne. Jooowwwwwk.

Pag high call, pahulihan mag-break or lunch, minsan kahit hindi na, makapondo lang ng RPC-PTP. Pag Preview, sinasabi pa lang ng mga boss, "Guys, go on coach -" napindot na ang Coaching at naihagis na agad ang headset.

6. Mahirap umabsent, lalo na kung may kadikit na rest day or VL. Kung ano-anong scenario agad ang usapang iikot sa loob ng bilog. Kahit ma-late ka lang, yurak agad pagkatao mo. Kesyo nag-inom ka the night before. May ka-date ka tapos sa sobrang chorvah nyo, nakakalap ka ng ng matinding sakit na kekelanganin ng ilang linggong gamutan ng mamahaling antibiotics. O kaya na-mouse trap ka or nalunod sa isang pool ng keso. Kakalat agad sa buong process ang mga haka-haka kung bakit ka nag-Combo King or Queen. Asahan mong sa pagpasok mong muli ay wala ka ng mukhang maihaharap sa mga ka-opisina at boss mo. 

7. Pag lalaki ka at nagpagupit ka, lalo na sa tinatawag na petsa de peligro (i.e., ilang araw bago magsweldo or at least 1 week matapos sumahod, a.k.a., gipit days), wag ka nang umasang hindi pagdududahan ang iyong sexuality. Ika nga, ALAM NA. Expected na pag bagong gupit, kahit ahit or trim lang, magpapa-team lunch ka.

8. Pag napasali ka sa mga foof at games, basic expectation na, for the team ang prize mo. Kahit sabihing solo treat, maramot ka pag hindi ka nag-share. Pag may GC ka sa Townhall, 50% ang tax, sa iba nga 100% mandatory. Pag sinabing dress-up, dress up (okay, may ilang pasaway pa rin). Pag sinabing mag-ambag ng bente para sa birthday celebrant or ibang gastusin, bawal pumalag. Ganyan talaga sa pamilya, kahit may parents, walang gulangan. Kahit hindi magkakadugo, hating kapatid.

9.  Mas malimit sa hindi, all out lagi sa mga costume contests at performance sa mga teambuildings at townhalls. Half-daragan at mind games sa simula pa lang (takutin na agad ang kompetisyon), half-talent and lakas apog na rin. Game lahat, kahit AMO, walang angal. Bawal dagain sa kaba, lalo na pag masikip ang pants. Mahirap na, lalo pa nung pwede ang pictures at videos. Walang kiyeme, walang urungan, walang hiya. 

10.  Dorobo. Magugulang, mang-gagantso. Walang takot, kahit ma-monitor.