I started reading two books simultaneously this month. I
finished one and am half-way through the other. Thank God for some idle time at
work I can catch up on my reading, plus I don’t fall asleep on my desk, since
my station is set apart from my team’s inner pod. I highly recommend reading – and re-reading and Stabilo Boss-ing portions and taking copious notes from – these two books. Here’s the first one…
“The Five Love Languages: Singles Edition” by Gary Chapman
I got mine at Fully Booked in MOA for about PHP 280, but it's also available in Powerbooks and National Bookstore. From the book’s back blurb, Gary Chapman is a New York Times
bestselling author, radio host and prolific conference speaker on marriage and relationships.
His original book catered mainly for married couples, but after it became a
hit, he was inspired to write one targeting singles. I actually saw versions
for teenagers and children as well.
His basic premise is that every human has an innate
emotional need to love and be loved. And I totally agree on that! Furthermore,
if we know how to love others effectively (and others can do the same for us)
it would drastically change how we relate to each other - for the better.
Enter the five love languages, namely: Words of Affirmation,
Gifts, Acts of Service, Quality Tie and Physical Touch. Chapman discusses how
each of us - while we may all “speak” or demonstrate all five in or relationships
- have a primary (sometimes even secondary) love language. This is the language
that we often manifest to people we love or care about, and usually is also the
kind of love language we respond to most successfully when spoken to us. By
discovering our own love language and of our loved ones, we can show them love
in the language they speak and would respond to more effectively.
For example, if my primary language is Physical Touch, I
like to hug, kiss or be close to people who are special to me. Likewise, if a
loved one touches me, I feel more loved and taken cared of. A person’s love language can also be
discerned not only on what he positively shows, but through his complaints as
well. If you shower your girlfriend with gifts but are rarely around her and
she complains about not seeing you enough, chances are her love language is
Quality Time. Constantly berating a child whose love language is Words of
Affirmation will likely have a more hurtful impact.
I cannot do justice to the book by just a few statements. It’s
definitely worth reading. The book also contains dozens of stories about the many
singles and couples Chapman has counseled through the years using the five love
languages. But what I love most about it is ultimately, it discusses love in
the way God intended it to be. It doesn’t only tackle romantic, “kilig” love
but also genuine love between parent and child, friends, families and even
coworkers. In the same way that you would want to learn the language or dialect
of a foreign country where you’re at, in order to be able to understand its
people and live harmoniously with them, then it makes sense to learn the love
language of people you care about.
There are references to Scripture verses
that are apt in our daily living and relationships. At the end, there is also a
profile quiz to see what your love language/s is/are. Some people can actually
be “bilingual” and have two primary love languages. I suggest taking the quiz
first before reading it so there will be no bias or “manipulation” of answers. I actually had an idea what mine was (primary and secondary) but it was still fun to actually confirm it haha! I had some of my office mates take the quiz too.
I found an online version of the quiz in the book, so if you're up to it, click here. You can take one for yourself, or for your child, whether you are single or married. It's fun! :)
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