I can't even comment on the issue of suicide, because, as it has been repeatedly said in the last few days, it is indeed a complex matter and we can't just point to a single reason why this happens.
It just made me think of how I had taken for granted my own stay in UP. I graduated from UP Rural High School, which is the preparatory secondary school here in UPLB. Back then (1996), only 160 students were accepted every year (this has been cut down to 120 in the last few years, I believe, since they removed one section comprising of 30 students per year level).
*Old Rural building in front of St. Therese Chapel (now the Math Building) where we spent Freshman-Junior year. We had to relocate to the new site for our Senior Year.
Our tuition back then was a little more than PHP 1000 per year, and for this we got some of the best teachers in the area, more freedom compared to other private high schools and more or less the confidence that we have a better chance of getting into a good college, preferably UP. I remembered that while I got decent grades (except Math and some sciences with numbers and all, which I managed to pass by mercy of my teachers and copying from my friends), I never really exerted much effort. I was busier with extra-curricular activities and typical teenage rebellion stuff like barkada, vices and cutting classes. I shudder when I think of Ging going to high school, and as early as now I am praying to God she doesn't end up like me, haha!
Ruralites did have a rep of being mayabang, especially once they get into UP colleges. Since we were the high school counterpart of UPLB, we had a tendency to look down on other schools, and act all smug when, say, we had to read The Little Prince or Of Mice and Men in Humanities subjects and we'd go like, yeah, we read that in high school already. I'm not saying we're all like that; I'm speaking for myself and some people I would rather not name. I don't think most of us even took the UPCAT reviews the school offered the summer before senior year quite seriously. Most of us were just glad for some excuse to get allowance during the summer.
*The new site in Paciano, Bay. We were the pioneer batch and the word 'rural" took on a whole new meaning for us. Barriotic talaga when we first came here!
I guess this confidence was the reason why I didn't bother to take any entrance exams from other colleges. That and that my mother was a UP employee, so I figured she and her friends can figure something out in case I got wait-listed or something. A lot of my high school friends were also kids of UP staff so we shared this feeling of dependence.
Thankfully (and now I attribute this to the sheer grace of God!), I passed the UPCAT and got into my college and course of choice. For the next four years, my tuition was PHP 45 per semester because of the Tuition Fee Exemption (TFE) granted to children of UP staff and employees. If I want to add another subject, it cost PHP 10. During my last two years, I would often resort to late reg and just do pre-rog to my instructors once classes start, instead of queuing for hours in the registration line. I paid PHP 50 for late fine. My two other sisters also went to UPRHS and UPLB. My eldest sister took Medicine in UP Manila, and my other sister is taking up her Masters in UPLB now (she's a UP employee now too; my mom retired two years ago). Nowadays, the cost of one unit would've been enough to put me through college for many, many years. While I got better grades in college (even landing in the honor roll and college scholar list a few times), I still lived a pretty laid back, partying lifestyle. I got pregnant during my second year but still managed to graduate only a semester after my peers. Looking back now, I never had to worry about paying my tuition, allowance, food or lodging; we lived right in campus. I hope my daughter will never have to experience that too, and will value her education much more than I did. I have such high regard for those students who study hard and work even harder to stay in school and not take any of these for granted.
*The familiar UP Los Banos signage upon entering the UP Gate
* Si Oble. Behind him is the Humanities building and my college org's fave hangout, the Hum Steps.
The other news is that of the young girl found dead two weeks after she went missing. She was found just a few villages from where I live! The jeepney-pedicab route that goes from the Animal Science area inside campus and plies the route of subdivisions around the campus perimeter (including our own village) is a familiar route me, Ging, Ige and my family have taken numerous times. It hit closer to home because Ging is also 11. The moment someone texted me the news and I saw it on the bus TV as well, I immediately texted my mom and sister and asked them to hug my daughter and keep a close eye on her. My heart goes out to the victim's family. Losing a child is one of the greatest pain any parent can go through, I hate to even imagine how that feels.
UPLB has been in the news the last couple of years due to some recent crimes and deaths. I hope the local government will continually do something about these and not just while the issue is hot.
Let us just pray for these two girls, and for their families as well. For whatever reasons these incidents happened, let us hope for healing, peace and awareness to come to our hearts and communities.
I was about to write about it too, after I learned these terrible happenings online. Until now mabigat pa din ang dibdib ko (bukod sa literal na mabigat sya) kahit kanina ko pa nabasa. :(
ReplyDeleteLate reply ever. Nakakalungkot talaga saka medyo kapranoid din dahil kay ging. :( Haha sana yung literal na bigat sa dibdib mo maexperience ko din!
Delete