My devo this morning gave me a good pause to think. God said in 1 Corinthians 13:1, “If I could speak all the languages of
earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a
clanging cymbal.” He exhorts us to “Do everything with love (1 Cor 16:14) and
of course we all know the famous verses of how real love should be like in 1
Cor 13:4-7. (Our Daily Journey, RBC Ministries, 2012)
I remembered an instance when I was a fairly new Christian
and were encountering various reactions (most of the violent, disbelieving
kind) from friends who knew my wild past and were dismissing this change as “just
another phase” for me.
An old friend was firing off one question after another
about why I “coverted,” why the need to “force” other people in believing in
our “movement” and others. I tried explaining it’s not about religion and struggled
to illustrate it about having a personal relationship. He’s had a few drinks, but I know
he is a sensible guy. Heck, he’s an intelligent guy gifted in conversations. But
I felt he was attacking my inability to change because he knew my past so well
and maybe didn’t think I can change, or need any religion to save me. And as I
tried to lob back his arguments with bits from Scripture and my personal
experience thus far, I ended up sounding very defensive and emotional. I mean, I cried on the spot.
That, I think was my ultimate mistake. I was arguing with
him on the merit of defending myself. I was trying to justify my actions by seeking
to find holes in his questioning and “misguided” thinking. I wasn’t trying to
share the grace of God and the true meaning of the Cross to him out of a noble desire to draw him near to the Lord
nor out of genuine love for a fellow human being. I just wanted him to shut up. I was driven by a selfish, wrong
motive.
Looking back now, I had prayed about that incident and that
should similar situations come up, I hope God would be upon me and use my
thoughts and words according to His will. I pray my heart would be clear of any
erroneous or dishonest intention. I ask for the ability to be civil in
discussion, especially to unbelievers, so that I may reflect not the flaws of
our faith, but the power of Jesus in our lives.
Civility should never be mistaken for being “plastic” or
fake friendliness. The former is about admitting you and the other parties have
differences but you can discuss it calmly without resorting to petty arguments
or mudslinging. Agree to disagree. The latter just buries the real issues beneath phony smiles and gestures. Opportunities for improvements are never discussed in the open so they are never given a chance to be resolved.
I had a friend that I had a gap a while back. For months after he hurt me, I completely ignored him. I felt vindicated and justified my actions by thinking, well at least hindi ako namamlastic. Only later did I realize I was not acting out of love. It was hard at first but when he approached me, instead of rebuffing him with harshness, I was civil. We didn't solve all our problems and we never got back to being the close friends we were before but it's better now. At least, we became friends again.
I hope we will also have the gift of discernment to see this
on those people running for office this coming May elections. Times like these
are always abounding in dirty politicking and smear campaigns between opposing
parties.
In the past, I’ve been called “plastic” so many times if it
happened now and I walked around Elbi or Muntinlupa, I would’ve been outlawed.
Bawal ang plastik sa Los Banos at Muntinlupa. It was a very mean and
unproductive quality I have that I truly regret and even now I call upon God’s
grace everyday to help me be civil – not to be a phony – in my interactions
with people I have disagreements with.
“Let’s make it our personal project to reveal God’s great
love as we debate and discuss today’s issues with others.” ~ Roxanne Robbins
(Our Daily Journey, RBC Ministries, 2012)
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