No More What If's

The movie One More Chance is famous for its quotable quotes. We all know that you-had-me-at-my-best tearjerker, for instance. But a while ago, when I caught the film for the nth time at Cinema One, one of Basha's lines earlier in the movie  caught my fancy (it's not verbatim because I forgot to take it down and Google just spewed off the usual lines):

"I don't want to keep wondering what if; I want to know what is."

Ganda. I'm sure anyone who's ever yearned about stepping out of their comfort zone, of wanting change in their lives, has uttered this line or some variation of it. 

Yeah, some changes are inevitable: puberty, hormones, wrinkles, getting older, death. Those are the inescapable changes life bring. But there are those kinds that actually require effort from us. Loving someone, following our dreams, turning a new leaf, forgiving someone, moving on - these require actions and decisions. More often than not, these aren't just results of our circumstances. It's a will issue. We know what to do or where we're going, but it's still our decision if we will go through it.So says Michael Jackson, if we want change, we gotta start with the man (or woman) in the mirror. 

At times we resort to using excuses to mask our fears, insecurities or inabilities. We say we're not ready when we're just afraid. We use the cliche we don't have the time because whatever or whoever it was that was asking for our time and attention just isn't important enough to us. It's not a matter of having time; it's about making the time. If it matters to us, we'll definitely make time. If not, then we're just playing until it starts getting too much of a responsibility and then we drop it just like that. 

Again, it's a decision. For instance, love. Loving someone is a decision, and you know what, so is moving on. Yeah, we might just wake up one morning and realize all the feeling is gone, but we actually decided beforehand to get to that point.

While some of us are innately brave, for some, it takes additional effort to muster the guts. So if it's asking too much for courage, then at least have respect. Respect yourself and the people around you. Sometimes playing too safe to avoid pain or hurting others can actually backfire; we end up hurting even more, and betraying the trust of those we care about.

I'm all for being cautious in decisions and guarding our hearts as well. But I also believe that sometimes, our well-laid plans get disrupted for good reasons. God is aligning our lives with His will, and it's all for the best. But following God's will doesn't give us license to hurt others or act like jerks. Instead, this knowledge should make us more humble, give us the confidence to be honest and trustworthy.

I once heard it said that the worst feeling in the world is that never-ending barrage of what-if's: regret. So yeah, maybe it's about time we start focusing on what is and what will be instead of the what if's that we can't bring back, yes?